Have you ever felt sometimes you just can't seem to let go of the things u once loved or done ? i am by far never ever able to let go. i don't know why.
Certain events bring nostalgia to me, bitter memories that i try hard to forget but to no avail..
I just hate it when the thought come running through my mind..
Sometimes i need to learn how to give up and move along with life, i neeeeeed to learn...
Why can't i bear the thought of letting go ? scared, scared of growing up. So i've been living in the fairy tale all this while, stories of a happy ending, boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy goes out with girl, boy kisses girl under the moonlight. bullshit. none of that is true. the movies, dramas, all lies. the typical romantic lovey dovey relationship, all so cute and shit, nahh, its not true, it may be nice to fantasize and daydream about, but its all fantasy, never will it be a reality. never believe in what you see in the media. lies. haiz. thought i love to watch these romantic movies, i have always used it as a guide, a way for me to learn the ropes, how to love, how to treat a girl, basically my morals and manners. But everything else, just doesn't work out.
I'm seventeen, going to eighteen. the period of time where a transition from teenhood to adulthood. the time where i recollect myself, review my morals and self, whether am i a good guy or not. i cant wait to turn 18, at the same time i dont want to leave my 17 yrs old life, stuck in a moral dilemma, i hate this.
To start afresh, i'm planning to do so after i get my awesome result, admitted to poly and eventually restart my social life. I just hope i get into poly.
why is it that it takes time to love someone but only 3 words to show it ?
why is it that fate finds us and not the other way round ?
why is that i could not find love ?
love itself could not be found, it could only be felt and told.
daydreams comfort me from the harsh reality.
but i could not run from it forever.
because life is cruel, love is merciless.
Smile, it'll make the world less shitty.
i am, and so should you.
Fuchii
